Pyramid Madness

Hisham and I meet up again for a 9.30am start and set off for the Pyramids by bus. I miss breakfast but being a Friday, which is the equivalent to our Sunday, most things are closed so I do without.

We walk around Tahir Square trying to find our bus stop when I see the bus in the other lane on the far side of the road. Hisham yells to it and it comes flying across three lanes of traffic without looking, just to pick us up. It only slows down and we have to run alongside of it just like the locals do to jump on through the back door. I'm flabbergasted and all the locals and the police, at the front of the Egyptian Museum, stare as this blonde with piggytails and a big blue backpack runs along the main road in the city yelling, "Oh my god" and tries to leap onto the bus. I jump on with the help of Hisham and we make our way to Pyramids.

I first glimpse the Pyramids through the golf course of the Oberi Mena House Hotel. Yes, you too can play golf in the desert. We walk past the area where they keep the horses that take the tourists around the Pyramids. This area is not very nice and the animals look poorly treated and malnourished. I would never ride a horse here. Such a cruel and in-human way to treat an animal. We then continue our way up the hill to the ticket booth.

My brilliant ISIC student card comes out, and I hand over my 20 Egyptian pounds or 3 euro for the ticket. This student card is a life saver - half price everything. As I push my way through the crowds, I'm inundated with yells of hello, how are you, welcome, where are you from, and what is your name from the crowds of school children. Peopley constalntly ask Hisham if we're married or is he my boyfriend. It's hilarious. We get through the metal detectors and come upon the shadow of the largest Pyramid, Hofu.

What an amazing site, 143m tall containing 1 million blocks of stone. It truly is an incredible site. The area around it reminds me of a movie set from The Mummy or Indiana Jones; camels going across the dunes surrounding the Pyramids, horses racing across the rocky formations to get the elusive tourist dollar.

Everywhere I look school children and adults stare, smile and yell out words of welcome. I feel famous. At one stage, 20 children wanting to know my name and shake my hand inundate me. Then their teacher takes a picture of us all. It's crazy.

Next, a couple of the girls follow me. One boy grabs at my bag and I know he's harmless but instinct and the lone traveller attitude set in and he nearly scores a punch. I warn Hisham that he has to tell the kids not to touch because this usually means they're trying to steal stuff. The other kids pushed aside the child, who turned out to be a begger.

We continue to walk around the Pyramid as Hisham tells me about its history. We then come across the middle pyramid and walk down the hill towards the Sphinx. Just incredible.

After getting lots of pictures and learning a bit about its history I start to get hungry. Hisham points out a Pizza Hut, and I can't think of a better lunch than pizza at the pyramids. So while sitting at the window with a direct view of the Sphinx and the Pyramids, we enjoy a super supreme with one hell of a supreme view.

After a filling lunch, we walk back up the hill and go to line up for a ticket to inside the large Pyramid. But first, we're hit up for some pictures with the Pyramids and a persistent camel and his owner. I'm put on the camel with a lovely turban that I hope doesn't give me fleas and have my picture taken in numerous tourist poses. The quintisential tourist happy snap. We then line up at the ticket office to get a ticket into Hofu.

The gods are definately looking down on us because we manage to get two of the last three tickets. What a blessing in disguise. We make our way to the entrance but are confronted with a definite no camera policy. Hashim waits outside while I go in with no cameras and bags.

The first part of the walk I'm standing upright but after 15m I have to bend over to nearly touch the ground to make my way up the steep ramp for nearly 50m. This is uncomfortable and very claustrophobic. People comeing down from the tomb straight towards me make it even worse. The ramp is only one metre wide and with such little room it's a slow process as I have to wait for people to squeeze past me. Thank god I don't have any 200kg people coming down as I'm going up.

After the slow climb I straighten up again to continue the next part of the climb standing. Still heading up on a steep incline I have to double over again for a brief 10m with the ability to stand up right in two holes in the ceiling. I then find myself in the burial chamber in the middle of the pyramid.

The air's heavy and very hot. It's quite a bizarre feeling. People are sitting along the walls meditating and there's an eerie silence that's shattered by the entrance of a group of Japanese tourists. It's quite funny. They do not look at all comfortable with the situation and some are wearing mouth masks. They must be trying to prevent any of the Pharoh's curses. I have had enough after twenty minutes and make my way out.

Unfortunately, I'm right behind a very large overweight man who's wheezing and laborisly slow. The other fifteen people wanting to get out and I are stuck as the poor guy literally heaves himself outside. God knows what would have happened if he had passed out. He would have blocked not only the way out but also prevented air from coming in and I would have been buried in the pyramid with all the other tourists. Excellent international headlines for the papers. What an offering to the gods. After I finally get out Hisham goes in.

I wait outside and am offered drinks, trinkets, hellos and all sorts of other greetings. It's nice to see Hisham again, so he could tell everyone to leave me alone. We then walk alongside the Pyramid to the other two smaller ones. I want to go to the vantage spot to take a picture of all three pyramids. We decide to go by camel, which is bloody uncomfortable. We'd agreed to go there and back but Sugar, the camel, is very painful on my bum, and I tell Hisham I'm walking back and he thoroughly agrees.

Next, we make our way back to Midan Tahir Square via the bus and do a spot of shopping for a beanie and gloves so that I won't freeze. After going back to the hotel for a quick shower and to pack, we make our way back to Central Ramsis Station where I board my overnight train at 10pm for Luxor.